Noted ghazal singer Chitra Singh’s 49-year-old daughter Monica Chaudhary’s suicide has left the entertainment industry in a tizzy.
Singer Alka Yagnik who knew Jagjit Singh comments, “I was quite close to Jagjit ji. The moment I read about this suicide in the newspaper, I recalled that they had lost their only son Vivek in a car accident in 1990. Now, it’s another shock. I am sure something must have gone awfully wrong with Monika for which she had to take this extreme step.”
According to police reports, Chitra, who was staying with her daughter for the past month chatted with her late into the night on Thursday, after which both of them retired to their rooms.
On Friday morning, Monica was discovered hanging from the ceiling by her older son Armaan. The absence of a suicide note has left many questions unanswered.
Close associates point to signs of depression in Monica, who had suffered two failed marriages in her past. While her first marriage to Jahangir Chaudhury from whom she had two sons — Armaan and Umer — ended in divorce in 2005, her second marriage to Britisher Mark Atkins also ended in failure.
In the past, legendary songstress Asha Bhonsle’s daughter journalist daughter Varsha tried committing suicide by consuming sleeping pills, just a day after her mother celebrated her 75th birthday. Even as the police brushed it aside as a ‘drug overdose,’ one can’t help wonder if Varsha too was suffering from depression, post her divorce.
Actress Pooja Bedi who witnessed her schizophrenic brother take his own life says of the mental trauma for the family. “I just want to say, my heart goes out to Jagjit and Chitraji. They’ve lost both their children tragically. As a parent, I know there could be no greater loss.”
Living life in the fast lane is no mean feat, especially for star kids who are often forced to grow up seeing their parents go through ugly personal battles that often culminate in bitter public separations. Living under the weight of expectations can often lead to people cracking up under pressure.
Bedi says of the immense pressures, “There are certain stresses in life that are beyond us. When the pressure is greater than you, you are forced to take such extreme steps. I feel life is not about what happens to you, but about your reactions to what has happened to you.”
“I have gone through a tough childhood; I have seen relationships break-up, witnessed five deaths in five years. I was six months pregnant when my brother died and my daughter was four-months-old when my mother expired. Gradually, I developed an inner resilience as today I believe there is a rainbow at the end of each storm.”
Facing a tumultuous life, are star kids more prone to facing depression? Director Mahesh Bhatt asserts, “A person is genetically disposed towards a suicidal temperament, which might not have been detected by their family or the person himself, but it’s there in their genes. Environment or other factors act as catalysts. I don’t agree that something that has happened suddenly to you can be the sole reason for a suicide. People who are too fragile to handle these traumas ultimately choose to end their life.”
Bhatt’s film Woh Lamhe was based on legendary actress Parveen Babi’s suicide. He recalls, “I had a very intense and long relationship with Parveen and I know that she also suffered a history of mental disorder. So again, it was not a matter of the moment, but a series of incidents that contributed towards her tragic end.”
While the main reason behind Monica’s suicide is yet to be ascertained, it’s alleged that her failure in her marital life pushed her towards depression, which gradually killed her.
Agreeing that relationship conflicts can prompt a person towards suicide, Gitanjali Sharma, marriage and relationship counselor explains, “When you depend on someone else for your happiness and if that is not delivered, it results in a feeling of loss, which eventually leads to suicide.”
“In case of an unsuccessful relationship, when things are not working, you start feeling unsatisfied, worthless and dejected. After a divorce, there is a social stigma and if a person is not able to cope with that, life turns hopeless. In such cases, suicidal attempts appear to be the only option.”
Bedi adds, “Tragedies occur, but different people handle their life differently. Nobody is worth our own life. If I look back at my failed marriage, I feel the loss of a husband, but I prefer considering the gain of two beautiful kids. I don’t want negativity to be around me, so I stay with a positive outlook.”
Does living in a starry environment contribute to contemplating suicide as the best resort when things don’t work out in life? Clinical psychologist Dr Avdesh Sharma says, “The main reason behind frequent suicides in society can be attributed to the critical imbalance between the rising pressures and the lack of a support system. It can either be an ongoing condition or an immediate incident that drives a person towards killing himself.”
Depression though is a silent killer leading to low self-esteem. Pooja recounts, “My brother was suffering from a grave mental illness and his medical condition was being treated by professionals in Los Angeles. But when he got to know he could never be 100 per cent of what he was earlier, he was very clear in his mind about his life.”
“He was a whiz-kid in computer sciences and maybe that’s why he decided that if he can’t have quality of life, quantity alone could not keep him happy. He gave this logical reasoning in his suicide note as well and also mentioned that if there is something called rebirth, he would love to be born as a technology genius.”
So, how then does one cope with crisis? In an interview to a film magazine, actor Shekhar Suman’s son Adhyayan who lost his brother Aayush tragically to a heart failure at the age of 11 says, “I was very close to my brother and was very young when he passed away.”
“And my family is still in trauma. I am the only son now and I have to make sure that they are happy and that’s why I started off so early in life. I just want to make my parents feel proud of me.” Perhaps in finding meaning in one’s life lies the path to moving on.
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